I thought I could handle it.

Drinking ‘til I was content over the weekend, for I couldn’t stand what the next week was going to bring due to unforeseen circumstances. The time for moving has come up too quickly for me to comprehend, as much as it seems pathetic, the amount of pressure, and stress that’s been caused mentally and physically no thanks to someone has made things so much harder. Let alone the government can’t even afford much support for what I need to afford each week, I’m going to be struggling very hard.

Along with that, the way that things have turned out so far have been, great as well as horror. The fact that I’m finally moving to Wellington, and with my partner, is brilliant as I never thought it finally be possible, nevertheless things that have had to been endured in order to do so, as I mentioned before, have been mentally stressing. I’ve never been this emotional in the entire or my life, and it makes me feel ashamed that such thing has happened. I’ve again fallen to drinking to help cure some of the nightmares that come with it, as well as smoking at occasional times just to release what was bound up in my head, just to have a few moments of peace before it all started over again. I’m spewing out with tantrums, I’m almost unable to keep my composure anymore like I used to. I’ve even noticed that a lot of my last few posts keep being more and more depressing as I compare them, and in hope that maybe everything will be so much better when I finally get out of this town, which has kept a lot of my miseries for a lot of my life til now.

C! x